dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
