I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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