he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
