but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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