She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
