repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
