Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize