Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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