Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
