There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
