youre lurking in front of me
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
