I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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