He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
