i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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