Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
