i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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