i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
