For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
