No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
