She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
