Cold hands, warm shart.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
