Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
