Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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