Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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