I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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