on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
