It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
