he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
