If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize