He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
