Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
