If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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