She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
