I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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