i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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