found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
