That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
