There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
