never play flip cup with pint glasses
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
