..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
