Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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