Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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