I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I think i got beer on your cat.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
