i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
