I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize