Swine flu. Run for my life!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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