I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
