We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
a search helicopter?!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
