U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
