love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
try to milk me bitch
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