She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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