that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
