i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
this boner is exhausting
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize