Will you blow on my dice?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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