? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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