Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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