Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
