We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
