Already got asked if we're dating
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
