it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
