Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I could fuck to npr.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
