what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
