Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
