Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
