I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I want her autograph on my taint
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
