she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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