It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
