Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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