I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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