My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
