I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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