I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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